


But you won't see me fall apart ('Cause I've got an elastic heart)

by tequilatuesdays



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Angst, Charmie, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 14:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18573181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tequilatuesdays/pseuds/tequilatuesdays
Summary: Timmy can't take it any longer...





	But you won't see me fall apart ('Cause I've got an elastic heart)

Armie pushes him backwards out of the door into the hallway.  
  
He is furious but tries to hide it. Tries to control himself. Fails miserably.  
Anger pours from his rigid body in waves, his face burns with a blush. He huffs out a breath, his eyes wide and fixated on Timmy's.  
  
Timmy is still drunk, still half-hard when Armie flings him against the wall, holds him there with one hand while the other is balled up into a fist.  
  
Behind them, a tall blonde guy squeezes through the door, t-shirt and jacket tucked under his arm, his belt hanging loose around his waist. He bolts down the hallway, disappears.  
  
_“You like getting fucked in filthy bathrooms, huh?”_  
  
Armie's eyes turned a darker shade of blue. His heart is still racing after what he just witnessed. He shoves harder at Timmy's body.  
  
_“You're jealous!”_ Timmy quirks up an eyebrow, chuckles and stares right at Armie.  
  
It wasn't even a question. More of a statement. A call out. And the dumb smirk on his face doesn't help the situation.  
  
_“You're not allowed to be jealous. You're the one who's married!”_ Timmy spits out and tries to flick Armie's hand off his shoulder. But the tall man is much stronger and Tim is drunk and his knees are still wonky from getting fucked against the cubicle wall a couple of minutes earlier.  
  
_“And you want me to be, right?”_ Another shove and Tim's head hits the wall behind him with a thud.  
  
_“Ouch...”_  
  
_“You want me to be jealous. You want me to catch you get fucked by some random stranger you met an hour ago... You enjoy seeing me angry and hurt. I'm so sick of your games.”_  
  
Timmy straightens up, pushes back against Armie's grip and finally wriggles free from under him.  
  
He runs his fingers through his curls, his hair matted and tangled, sticking up in all directions.  
  
_“My games? You're sick of MY GAMES?”_ his voice high-pitched, almost frantic. _“I'm not the one playing games here, Armie. I am not the one with a wife and two kids, living an Instagram happy life. I am not the one who can't admit to himself what has happened! Who won't stand by what he really feels! I am not the one who is scared to own up to his feelings and act on them! When I told you I loved you...”_ he looks around, realizes there are other people around and lowers his voice.  
  
_“When I told you I loved you, I meant it! I was in love with you, Armie Hammer, and...”_  
  
“Was...?” Armie interrupts him.  
  
Timmy leans backwards, slides down the wall and pulls his knees towards his chest.  
  
Armie towers over him, shoulders slumped forward, his head hanging down.  
  
He sighs.  
  
Timmy sits on the floor, hunched over, still hugging his legs, his chin resting on his knees.  
  
_“How long do you expect me to keep this up for? Seriously, how much longer do you think I can pretend like nothing happened in Crema? Or on the press tour? All over Europe. Or back home? All those hours we spent together in one hotel room, late night walks in parks, incognito shopping trips and arriving to the same parties, fifteen minutes apart. Always hiding, always careful. Piling one lie on top of the other. It's been three years, Armie. Three fucking years!”_  
  
He doesn't sound drunk anymore. His voice is heavy with exhaustion. He drops his head and stares at the ground.  
  
_“It's not fair. You're not fair. I hate this! I hate that I am just some dirty little secret for you. Something to play with when you are bored. Your living, breathing fucktoy. So what if I get screwed by some random stranger. So what if I go on dates. So what if I fall for someone else. So what? So. Fucking. What. It shouldn't faze you. You go home to your wife and kids every night. You fuck Liz... You... kiss Liz... in public...”_ his voice is barely a whisper now. Hot tears sting in his eyes. He tries to swallow them down but the anger and frustration overpower him.  
  
_“I just can't do this anymore. I don't want this anymore.”_ He motions between them. _“Us. I'm done.”_  
  
_“Hey, hey...”_ Armie bends down, sits down next to him and wraps one arm around Timmy's shoulder. He pulls him towards his chest but Tim struggles against him.  
  
He sniffles. Wipes tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand.  
  
_“No. Don't. I'm serious.”_  
  
Armie pulls his arm back, lets it fall to the side. He stares straight ahead, stern gaze focused on the fading wallpaper.  
  
_“You don't understand. I do feel something for you. I just... ”_  
  
_“What is there to not understand?”_ he interrupts Armie. _“You clearly choose her. It has always been her. And I can't even blame you! You are married. You have two children with her. I... I just wish I hadn't wasted three years of my life. Three years, constantly hoping, wishing. Hanging in limbo. On top of the world after spending a couple of days with you, then down in the dumps when I don't get anything other than a couple of hurried FaceTime calls from your back garden. You just love the thrill of it all. But I am tired. I want to live free. Out there in the open. And you can't. Or you won't.”_  
He looks over at Armie whose face is all pale, slowly blinking his eyes.  
  
_“I'm sorry.”_ he looks at Timmy. _“I'm sorry I've made you feel that way. I'm sorry I am such a self-centered prick. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much I was hurting you. I'm a coward. And a fraud. You don't deserve this Timmy. You really don't.”_  
  
_“Yeah, but the thing is,”_ Timmy gets up off the floor, reaches out and cups Armie's face with one hand _“I really wanted this.”_  
  
He let's go of him, turns and slowly walks down the hallway.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Just don't look back now. You can do this. Don't look back._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Sia's Elastic Heart


End file.
